It's not you, it's GEICO.

A couple of weeks ago I got pulled over by the NYPD. There was no cause. I hadn't done anything wrong. Might have been because of my plates.


Anyway he proceeded with to tell that my plates were SUSPENDED;even though I had a valid registration and insurance. Apparently when I changed addresses and changed insurances I didn't notify my old insurance company that I was leaving them for a better company. They got miffed and went ahead and told DMV that I violated the law and had no insurance when the truth was I had switched to GEICO. Apparetly because of that my plates were suspended. Well in true New York Pig Department (NYPD)way he gave me a 'criminal summons' even though he knew it was just a bureaucratic mixup.

Today was my court date and it was traumatic.

Now please note that in my defense... in the last two years I haven't visited an INS office... I don't ride the subway...hell I dont even go to wendys anymore...


Midtown Manhattan Courthouse. Im surrounded by crackheads, muggers, assault and battery people,public urinators, prostitutes, drunken and disorderlies and weapons possession violators. I was there for 6 hours wondering what bureaucratic red tape nightmare landed me here and if it was going to get worse. A crackwhore next to me kept asking me every 10 minutes ..."Whats the time man..." hissing through her rotting teeth...so I moved ....sat next to a chinese guy ....who proceeded to keep farting .... turned out he was in for carrying a concealed knife. I watched the proceedings as the judge senteced people in front of me to jail time, fines, community service and I kept thinking where in Twilight Fargin Zone am I.


Anyway 6 hours later finally the judge called up my case. I went up there and showed my reciept from DMV showing I had insurance. He, the bailiff and the DA gave me a incredulous look that said what the hell are you doing here and then said case dismissed and asked me to leave.


Lesson learnt. I didn't know that you have to follow some breakup protocol when you leave someone. If you dont it might land you in the criminal court system. Now I'm wiser and have prepared a breaking up document.

*****************************************************
Dear Liberty or Ms X.

This is notify you that we can't see each other anymore. Youre nothing close to what Im looking for. You bring nothing to the table. I have spent lots of time with you and am still unable to find anything resembling a heartbeat. Youre obsessed with yourself and would bring nothing positive to improve my life. Im looking for the one and you're a distant zero. So please dont call me, email me, write me letters, and especially send me a bill. I am hereby breaking up with you. It's not me...it's you. And oh yeah I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.